Gen Z Universe (#Y.L.C.)
LIKE, COMMENT, CONFESS: HOW INFLUENCERS SCAMMED US INTO THINKING WE COULD ALL BE RICH, HOT & HEALED BY 25
By: Gossip Guru
Let’s keep it real, bro:
They sold us a dream wrapped in an LED ring light and served it with a matcha latte and trauma dump.
Now you’re broke, tired, and whispering “what’s my niche?” into your cracked iPhone camera.
Meanwhile, some 19-year-old just cried on IG Live, dropped a merch line, and bought a penthouse in LA.
Life’s fair, right?
FROM CRYING BROKE TO CRYING IN A G-WAGON
We watched it happen in real time:
One day, he’s filming pranks in a mall food court… next thing you know, he’s at Coachella in mesh and a Jesus chain talking about “protecting his peace.”
Hot gossip?
Half these “relatable kings” have secret sugar mommas and brand deals from apps nobody uses.
You think they’re cashing out from that “what I eat in a day”? Nah — it’s the crypto scams in the DMs, babe.
And don’t let them gaslight you with “if I can do it, you can too.”
They had a ring light, a six-pack, and a daddy in real estate.
You?
You have vibes and a hoodie with pizza stains. Be serious.
THE ERA OF HEALED HUSTLERS
Every male influencer now got a fade, a fake accent, and a podcast where they say “discipline is sexy” while reading a book they didn’t finish.
Bro’s entire personality is morning routines and humble brags.
Meanwhile you just woke up at noon in last night’s clothes trying to remember if you cried or sweat.
THE PRICE OF THE PIPE DREAM
They want you to quit your job, fly to Bali, and build a personal brand.
But what they don’t tell you is how they spent $3,000 on “content coaching” to learn how to fake cry and flirt with the algorithm.
Let’s not forget:
That “casual beach post”? Sponsored.
That “I just randomly vlogged today” video? Scripted tighter than an HBO finale.
That “healing era” post? Filtered through VSCO, therapy, and five publicists.
THE REALITY CHECK
You’re not behind — you’re just not playing the same game.
Influencer culture is like The Bachelor with Wi-Fi: It’s curated chaos, but damn if it ain’t entertaining.
We’re all auditioning for a life that feels just one viral post away.
Spoiler alert: It’s not.
Maybe Were all going through a young life crisis!
BUT STILL... POST THAT CONTENT, KING.
Because who knows? Maybe your flop era is your build-up arc.
Maybe your side-eye will trend.
Maybe your “get ready with me” will hit the algorithm like a sweet uppercut to capitalism.
So chin up, ring light on, delusion dialed to 10.
You might not be rich, but you can still be relevant.
Just go do a gold digger pranks or something.
