Gen Z Universe (#MoneyMood)
“Girl Math, Boy Math & Broke Math: Why Gen Z’s Financial Strategy Is Pure Vibes”
By: Ms. Delulu, CPA (Certified Public Aesthetics)
Let’s talk money, babes — or lack thereof.
Because according to my bank account, I'm broke.
But according to my lifestyle? I’m Beyoncé’s secret niece.
Welcome to Gen Z Math — where the numbers don’t math, but the outfit ate.
Girl Math:
- If I paid for it last week, it’s basically free today.
- If I return something, that’s income.
- $50 on nails isn’t “spending,” it’s “maintenance.”
- Coffee is $7, but therapy? Girl be serious.
- If my man pays for it, I saved money. Period.
Girl Math says I deserve that $300 skincare haul because Mercury was in retrograde and my man didn’t text back fast enough. Emotional distress = financial permission.
Boy Math:
- Boy math is thinking a $100 haircut and $400 rims on a $2,000 car is a flex.
- It’s buying a PS5 but sharing a Netflix account with your ex's cousin.
- It’s saying “I don't believe in labels” but tracking your sneaky link’s every Instagram like.
- And let’s not forget: “I’ll invest in crypto,” but can't invest in deodorant.
Boy math is buying bottle service for strangers but ghosting you over a “busy week.” The delusion is gender-neutral, but these numbers? They don’t even make decimals anymore.
Broke Math (aka Gen Z’s official currency):
- Klarna, AfterPay, and Zip are our sugar daddies.
- “I got it on sale” = “I didn’t really buy it.”
- “I only have $23 but payday is in 6 days” = I’m basically rich.
- “If I ignore my bank notifications, they can’t hurt me.”
- “I just need to go viral once and I’ll be up.”
Financial planning? No baby, we’re manifesting. I lit a candle, meditated to SZA, and told the universe I want a Chanel bag. That’s budgeting in 2025.
We don’t need traditional financial advice — we need vibes, alignment, and someone to send a little “Just because” Cash App. Stability is cute, but have you ever swiped your card and prayed? That’s character development, baby.
Ms. Delulu’s Bottom Line:
We’re not reckless — we’re romantic with money.
We spend for the plot.
We shop for serotonin.
And if that bill collector wants their coin, tell them to wait until I hit a million on TikTok.
Get your money up, honey — or find someone that has.
Either way, make sure your outfit screams “rich,” even if your wallet’s whisperin’ “help.”